About us

Welcome to the rudest cookbook ever. You're probably reading this because:

a) you're a millennial brat who needs to feed your fat fkn face.
b) your partner picked this up for you so you start feeding their fat fkn face.
c) you're just a masochistic idiot who likes to cook

Best of fkn luck.

Basic Preps

How to prep Pasta? Boil rice? How to make a basic af sauce? We got you muppets sorted right here.


Easy breakfasts for when you’re hungover. Or when you’re sober and lazy. Healthy? Maybe. Satisfying? For sure!


We love entertaining. And be entertaining, we mean an excuse for a party. What’s a party without starters?


Not up to prepping a starter? Buy a fk load of crisps and whip up an easy dip. Fancy pants!


The mains listed is literally what we eat ourselves. Easy to make, and flipping delicious!


Not going to lie here, our desserts are intense. They’re rich and almost always feature chocolate. Besides, desserts go to the heart – not the stomach.

About us

a little bit of info on us

Why the swearing?

Just a bit of fun. Besides would a lazy prick like you do anything if someone didn’t yell at you first?

Who are we?

We’re just like you lot. Only difference is that we know how to cook and we’re bloody good at it.

The Book

The physical, coffee-table cookbook is coming soon.