Open the bottle of Bourbon and pour yourself a stiff drink.
Pour the rest into the Mason jar or airtight container. Quarter the bananas and chuck them into the jar.
Get on with your life for 2 weeks.
After the bananas have soaked in whiskey for two weeks, strain them out and store the banana-infused whiskey for points 6, 9 and 11.
Preheat the oven to 350°F.
Drink a bit of the banana-infused whiskey (prep it as you would a whiskey sour).
Butter your pan and line it with parchment paper.
Bowl 1: Sift together the flour, baking powder and baking soda.
Bowl 2: Mash and mix the bananas the coconut cream and lemon juice.
Bowl 3: Whip the butter and sugar, add the egg and vanilla in and slowly add the dry ingredients from bowl 1 into bowl 3.
Drink a bit more whiskey. Take a break – you’re doing good.
After bowl 1 is merged into bowl 3, throw in the contents of bowl 2 into bowl 3 as well. If this is complicated and confuses you – stop drinking the banana-infused whiskey and read it slowly. Don’t fuck this part up.
Pour the mixture in your pan – and bake for an hour. Check on it regularly and prod it with a toothpick from time to time – if it comes out clean, it’s done.
Optional but highly recommended: If you’re a raging alcoholic, get a syringe from your local pharmacy, fill it with whatever banana-infused whiskey remains and stick it into the bread randomly. Load the loaf – so the loaf loads you.